I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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