you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
