there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
