I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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