what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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