Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
