what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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