didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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