Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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