Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
