Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
