the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
