I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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