I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
