She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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