Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
