Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
