So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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