Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
