he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
