I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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