I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize