um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
