You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize