I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize