i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
