I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
