Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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