Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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