I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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