In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
