I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
