We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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