its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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