No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
