Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize