come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
