just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
