I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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