The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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