Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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