how can u be prego again
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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