His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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