Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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