i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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