Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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