He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
