i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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