God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
