I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
