i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What a dumb baby whore.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize