im drinking this country out of the recession.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
