This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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