I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
