I'm really into asian looking animals
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
