Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
