I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
only if we run a train.
done.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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