And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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