And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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