You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
